A New Nephew

Hi! I'm Tanner, Jenelle's newest nephew. I was born around five this morning IN A CAR!!! For real! I'm so speedy, my mommy didn't have a chance to make the five or so miles to the hospital. Mommy and Daddy only made it a few miles from our house when they had to pull over. I was born within seconds after they stopped with the cold wind blowing in my face. It was quite a shock!

What is even more of a shock is that this is not the first time my mommy couldn't make it to the hospital! How many woman do you know that haven't made it to the hospital to have their babies? Not many, right? My mommy has had two of her four babies in places other than a hospital room! I was born in a car, and my older brother, Tristan, was born in the bathroom!!!! My mommy has babies faster than anyone I know! She should be in the Guinness Book of World Records for fastest deliveries. This is my brother Tristan, the bathroom baby, holding me. We're going to be track stars someday.

Here's my mommy, Jessica, a.k.a. The Amazing Slippery Vagina Woman. She doesn't look like she just had a baby in a car does she? This woman is made to have babies. She doesn't get morning sickness, she only looks 5 months pregnant when she's actually due any day, and she pops out 8 pound babies in minutes without feeling any contractions until it's almost time for the baby to come.

Check this out--I'm not sure what I've signed up for--I have two older brothers and one older sister! They better help Mommy take care of me.

My brother, Justin, sure thinks I'm sweet. He doesn't realize that he's not the baby anymore. Heh, heh, heh.

This world sure is noisy! I am only a few hours old, and I have already gotten a taste of what life is going to be like at my house. My brothers were running all over the hospital like nuts playing with some balloons.

I'm not sure what my crazy cousin Colter was up to--why was he crawling all over the floor?

He only let his mommy, Jenelle, my favorite aunt, hold me for a few minutes. Then he started whining and said, "Put that baby down, Mommy!" Darn it. I wanted her to keep holding me. She was nice.

At least my sister, Alexis, got to hold me then. She's pretty nice too.

What a day! I need a nap.

Sunday School Hooky

My boy loves Sunday school, but today he must not have been in the mood. Usually, when we drop him off at his Sunday school room, he goes right in and begins to play with his friends. Today however, he immediately started screaming when I dropped him off and did not want me to leave. I tried to calm him down and convince him to stop crying, but no such luck. I was assured that he would stop crying and be fine, so I went ahead and went to my Sunday school class. I was there, perhaps, three minutes when someone came to get me because Colter had gotten so upset he puked! ICK. His classroom was filled with the not-so-pleasant aroma of curdled milk and regurgitated waffle when I rushed over to retrieve my vomit-covered kiddo. My poor boy! He was a teeny bit congested, and I guess he just got so upset that he choked on some phlegm and threw up, because the rest of the day he was his usual hyperactive self, so he obviously wasn't sick, thankfully.

Needless to say, we couldn't remain at church after Colter threw up on his Sunday school teacher in case he really was sick. Instead of spending the morning at church, we played hooky and visited the park! Feeding the geese and playing at the playground made Colter feel better after his yucky puking experience.

The fall leaves are beautiful!Catching Daddy on the SlideI'll Catch You, Mommy! Yellow

In Sync

On Thursday mornings, Colter's friend Carter often comes to visit for a little while. The boys have really started to get into mischief together as they get older and actually play together more. On this particular Thursday, the boys appeared to be playing peacefully with Little People, so I went into the kitchen to do some dishes. When I started to hear lots of giggles and banging noises, I ran back to Colter's room and discovered this....Two monkeys jumping on the bed! One of which, Carter not Colter, is picking his nose by the way (I'm sure Carter's mommy loves me bring attention to that). They had filled the crib with toys and climbed in. I didn't know HOW these wild apes got into the crib so quickly; Colter had only climbed into his bed a few times before, so I got them out and stood in the hallway peeking in to see what they would do.

They moved Colter's toy piano right by the crib to use as a step. Colter climbed into the crib first, and then Carter climbed up on the piano. Carter lifted his legs up to climb over the crib, couldn't quite make it, so Colter pulled Carter the rest of the way in. What teamwork!

Check out this series of pictures taken one right after the other. Did they plan this?

Eyes closed...Mouths open...Serious faces...
Seriously? How did that happen? Can you imagine what these guys will pull off when they're in high school?

A Fish Story

Once upon a time there was a man who loved aquarium fish. He was a true aquarium fish enthusiast; at one point, he even had four (maybe five?) fish aquariums up an running at the same time! Basically, he was a fish nut. Which is odd, because this man who enjoyed fish so much, doesn't like the water. He doesn't like water sports at all. Hello....fish live in the water. Oh, he doesn't like to go fishing or to eat fish either. It seems strange that the fish man likes fish in some situations but not others. I bet the bass in the nearby lakes were jealous of the attention fish man paid to his guppies. Anyway, whether it makes sense that the man who hated water like to have gallons and gallons of it sitting around his house or not, the fish man had lots of time and money invested into his fish habit. In fact, that just may be why when fish man got married when he was almost 28 years old, he didn't own a house or have any money saved up. He had invested all his moola into fish (or fast food and pizza).

After years and years of caring for fish, the fish man finally burned out. When the last tank he had set up only had one fish in it for over a year, he decided he wanted to take down his family's pretty 45 gallon fish tank and put it into storage! Fish man's wife, who really hadn't messed with the fish much decided she must take over. The house would seem so strange without a fish tank! His wife read about fish care and decided it wouldn't be too difficult to start maintaining the aquarium. She learned about nitrates, nitrites, ph, and other stuff that affected aquarium water and became.....FISH WOMAN!

The pretty tank...

Resident CatfishBabies!

The funny thing is, after fish woman started caring for the tank, fish guy suddenly became interested in fish again! Now that he no longer has to worry about vacuuming up fish poo and making biweekly water changes because fish woman takes care of that, he is back to enjoying fish. Several fish have had babies (one guppy had over 35!), and the fishy couple have had fun taking care of the fish together. The couple's son, fish boy, loves the hobby too; the local pet store own even gave him two fish yesterday for free just because he could tell how much the boy liked fish. Maybe hobbies are more fun when the whole family participates.

These Boots Were Made For Walking...

Have I ever mentioned that Colter has a thing for shoes? Oh, yes. I did. Here. And here.

My parents have a few pictures of me when I'm a toddler in my daddy's big rubber boots. I'm not sure, but I kind of think I'm naked except for the boots. Maybe I'm in a diaper. I can't remember. Find those pictures, Mom! I need to post it so everyone can see where Colter gets his shoe fetish.

Colter and Company

Colter has many bedfellows. There's two stuffed kitties, Sine and Tangent (named after our real cats), Boose the Bear, Lambie, Duckie, Bunny, and Austin the Cabbage Patch Kid. Oh, yeah, and Colter. He lined everyone up to pose for a picture. That's one crowded crib! :)

Go Turtle Go!

It's perfectly normal to gather terrapins, a.k.a. turtles, pile them under a bucket with a heat lamp to psych them up for a race, then uncover the turtles and stand and cheer while the turtles creep towards a finish line, right? Good, because that's how my small town spends one night a year each fall at the annual festival. Go turtle go!

Colter's contestant

Like many others, Colter wasn't too sure about this odd, I mean perfectly normal, tradition and had no desire to kiss his turtle for a picture like Mommy requested. That's probably for the best. Don't turtles carry salmonella? Colter, Mommy, and Mr. Turtle

Colter's turtle was speedy but small. The poor turtle was denied the taste of victory because I waited too long to have him put under the heat lamp. All the turtles are piled under a bucket, and my strategy was to wait until many other turtles were already there so our turtle wouldn't be piled underneath all the other turtles and be buried in the middle of the pile. I thought it would be better if our turtle was on the top of the pile so he could escape. It didn't work. He was so little he got stuck on top of a bigger turtle and though he kept moving his legs really fast proving he was a winner at heart, he couldn't get off the big turtle and didn't go anywhere! Oh, well. There's always next year!

I'm not sure what this grumpy face was about. I believe I told him to say, "cheese" and this is what I got, but let's pretend this is the face he made when we find out his turtle lost.